"Just Don't Let Him Touch My Stash . . . Moustache"

It’s been a week now, and my attempts at growing a moustache have been completely unsuccessful. Damn my lack of sufficient testosterone levels!

Actually, it wasn’t a complete failure. I mean, I have a moustache, of sorts. It’s not the complete, bushy caterpillar that I was going for, but it is a moustache. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s like an inverse Hitler ‘stache; instead of trimmed to be only right under the nose, under the nose is the only place it didn’t really grow, leaving two out of place patches of hair above my lip on either side of my mouth. If I were to grow them out to about a foot long, braid them, and dye them grey, I would look like a wise old Chinese monk (sans the oriental facial features). Hey, that gives me an idea!