Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Can't a Guy Buy Beer in Peace?

Guess what short people with "baby faces" hear on at least a weekly basis, usually when purchasing legal, regulated substances?

Do you think it is "I've looked at your government-issued ID and I believe that you are the age you claim." Nope.

Do you think it's "I appreciate that you look young; I wish I looked young as well." Guess again.

Do you think it might be "I choose not to make a comment on your youthful appearance and/or demeanor." Way off!

It's actually "Are you sure you're old enough to buy [regulated substance]? You look like you're [insultingly low age]!"

Awesome! Now I hate you!

Hardly a week goes by that I don't have to practically apologize for looking young or explain that many people make the same mistake of thinking I'm younger than I actually am. I don't mind the actual question, though, so much as the absolute incredulity that comes along with it. If you're seriously in doubt of my age, don't sell me the product. If not, just shut the fuck up about it.

Other related things that annoy me:

  • Bringing a friend/coworker over to gawk at the 15-year-old-looking freakshow (As if being mocked by one person isn't enough.)
  • Triple- or quadruple-checking my ID after a waitress and a bartender (and possibly a bouncer) have sufficiently perused it (You're a bar manager, not the director of Homeland Security.)
  • Telling me that you have a relative or friend that also looks young (Neat! Ask them how much I don't like you right now.)
  • Ask me what my license number or my birth date is (I look even younger on my ID than I do in person. Why would I have a fake ID with a picture of someone even younger than I am?)

Monday, April 21, 2008

"What, like the back of a Volkswagen?"

Kat: im fricking exhausted
Kat: i was up until 6
Mr McBastard: doing?
Kat: having sex?
Kat: in the backseat of a car...
Kat: oh my dignity

Sunday, April 20, 2008


I own entirely too many clothes. This is not because I'm fashionable; in fact, I'm far from it. I actually just don't like doing laundry very often.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Moving to Chicago

Citing reckless immaturity and a lack of responsibility, I've decided to quit my job and move to Chicago. I've already put in my two weeks at work and made plans to stay with Stellar and her husband for a while. Now all I have to do is actually get there.

A couple months ago I had started looking for a new job -- mostly in KC, but I applied to a few in Chicago. I told myself that I wasn't going to start looking for a new apartment (My lease is up in May.) until I found a new job. I wasn't even going to consider Chicago unless I had a firm foothold there.

Well, I had gotten a little disheartened recently because I wasn't getting much of a response -- only one interview. But recently (as in yesterday) I decided that I was thinking about this whole job thing the wrong way: I had been looking for a career instead of a life in which I had a job.

This realization came to me during a conversation I had with Stellar as she tried to convince me to move to Chicago:

Stellar: The chicks are hotter in Chi-town
Mr. McBastard: oh yeah?
Stellar: It's a better city for getting drunk, watching live baseball, and wandering around the streets with all the other happy drunk fans
Mr. McBastard: i wouldn't mind hotter chicks or public intoxication, but it's the job thing that's driving me right now
Mr. McBastard: as i typed that i got kind of sad
Stellar: Why?
Mr. McBastard: i'd rather have my life based on chicks and booze than a job
Stellar: hahahaha
Stellar: Welcome to being a grownup
Mr. McBastard: this blows
Stellar: Indeed

And it's true. I'm not ready (Will I ever be?) to devote myself to my job and settle into a career. I'm not a care-free kid anymore, but I'm not exactly old either. I'll have the rest of my life to be serious about my work and make money. Right now, I just want to do something I don't absolutely hate and be with people I absolutely love.

It's not like I haven't done this is Kansas City already. So, why move? Well, why not? It's like that saying with the varieties and the spices and whatnot. I'll see what Chicago's like until I get bored with it, and move to the next city. Or maybe not. Who knows? At least I'll be doing something interesting.

So, to the people I'm leaving behind: Keep in touch. To the people I'm going toward: Get ready. And the the people every place else: Visit me some time; we'll do something rash and irresponsible together.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Photo Backlog

I didn't realize until this weekend that I had such a backlog of pictures on my camera; I had pictures on there from before Christmas. I finally uploaded them to Flickr. Here are some highlights:

Circa Now