Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Crush Mush

Feelings are stupid and embarrassing (mostly because I know Stellar is going to ask me about this).

I have a crush on a girl in one of my classes.

Maggie isn't gorgeous by any means, but she's not ugly, either. She's pleasantly and attractively average; what I would consider "cute." C'mon, her name is Maggie, how cute is that! Plus, she has fluffy, black hair that she usually wears in these large tufts that have tendrils flowing down from them, as if buns and ponytails had incestuous relations on her head, and these were the resulting offspring; nevertheless, their seemingly lazy, haphazard, and unpretentious construction has an endearing quality.

Anyway, she's not particularly pretty or, from what she's said in class, she's not particularly insightful or thought-provoking, and neither am I. And I think that's why I find her attractive. Actually, I think the this is the mostly the reason that I find her attractive:

For our class we had to watch a movie, an old, long, boring movie. I had the good fortune of having her sit next to me, but I also had the bad fortune of being shy, and intimidated by women I find attractive, so I sat in silence -- half wanting to fall asleep from boredom, half wanting to strike up a conversation with her. The silence was broken when, during a highly emotional part of the movie when this old widow was crying about her brother-in-law being killed, she leaned over to me and said, "She sounds like Miss Piggy." I laughed heartily and fell in love.

Friday, February 18, 2005

I Imagined Smashing Her Skull and Smiling

Do you ever imagine killing people -- accidentally, perhaps, imagining the murder of some might-be-innocent bystander? Do you ever dream of hacking and smashing a person to death? Naked flesh bleeds, mourning the loss of limbs damaged or altogether separated. Do you ever feel justified, or do you feel guilty? Or do you feel quite calm and content as you're killing?

Monday, February 14, 2005

Love Is Made Up

romance is a dead,
shriveled rose
on february twenty-first,
drowned in a bowl of tepid,
stagnant tap water,
soon to be discarded
with the rest of the garbage.
love is made up
     -- tv love,
        movie love,
        trashy romance novel love --
love is patient;
love is kind;
it does not want
     candy or flowers or jewelry,
-- temporary mementos --
the glittering bobbles,
distracting and confusing
a pre-adolescent sentiment.
the trivializations are used as bait.
and year after year
millions bite the hook.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005


I have a new addiction: The Facebook Dot Com.

Houses and Homes

The fraternity house that I've been living in for the past two years is being torn down to build a new one. So, I moved out of there and into an apartment with a couple of my brothers for a few months.

I hate moving, but this new place is nice, and I'm already starting to settle in.

Circa Now