Friday, May 22, 2009

Faith Enough

Last night I prayed, sincerely, for the first time in half a decade. I prayed to a god that most days I'm not even sure exists. And even if it does, I hardly think that it's in this god's nature to heed prayer and grant wishes. But I prayed, and, like most prayers made by people who only have faith enough to believe in a god when it's convenient, my prayer was desperate and selfish.

I prayed as I've been taught, by asking for something and then offering up the sins I'm ready to repent. This is a strange vision of the economy of prayers: God grants us the things we request in exchange for a few paltry mea culpas. It doesn't seem like a reasonable exchange or a sound investment -- heaven's own sub-prime lending scheme.

I've eschewed dogmatic, institutional sins, preferring to believe that my character flaws will suffice in their place. My sins include Lacking Humility, Being Irresponsible, and Indulging in Anger. I confessed the sins I knew I'd committed; the one's I've yet to realize will have to wait.

In exchange I asked for Peace of Mind, Perseverance, and Contentment. And a job that pays rent.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Where Am I?

Two people asked me for directions while I was wandering around downtown today. I had to explain that I had just moved here, and that I wasn't even certain where I was. I guess my Where The Hell Am I? Face (patent pending) looks confident and knowledgeable. I'm glad that at least strangers think I know where I'm going and what I'm doing.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

And Then

I'm all moved, partially unpacked, still unemployed, and back online. I'm slowly-but-surely succeeding in this relocation scheme I came up with. Hopefully, the job problem will be solved soon, and then ...

I don't know, I guess I start feeling comfortable with being somewhere I've wanted to be.

Monday, May 04, 2009


So, I'm about to head out the door and into the city. I'll be without an internet connection for a while. So, if you need to get in touch with me, give me a call instead.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Dumb Move

I'm not sure why I haven't mentioned this before now; like Ron Burgundy, it's kind of a big deal: I'm moving tomorrow.

I'm moving out of the Happy Times's house in the suburbs to live with The Long-Dater Goober and her previous and my soon-to-be roommate, Sneezy. (I'll come up with better nicknames later, I promise.) We're moving into an apartment on the north side of the city, just off the Red Line. It's in a decent neighborhood, and I'll finally fulfill my wish to actually live in the city.

While I'm pretty excited about this move, I'm also really nervous. I came here a year ago with only a few hundred dollars and no job prospects in a faltering economy but with some trusty friends to rely on. This time I'm moving with only a few hundred dollars and no job prospects in a full-on recession and no one but myself to fall back on. This is, without a doubt, the stupidest literal and figurative move I've made in a while.

So, if you've got some extra luck laying around, send it my way. Or if praying's your thing, please mention me to your deity of choice. Well-wishes and heaping helpings of hope are greatly appreciated. I'm going to need it.

Circa Now