What I've Learned in my Twenty-Sixth Year

I turned twenty-six yesterday. I decided to make a list of things I've learned:

• Making sudden, life-altering decisions may not work out how I plan
• It is more valuable and useful to make the decision to change than to decide on what (I hope) that change will be
• If I want to pay off my debt, I shouldn't quit my job, especially in the middle of a recession
• I am not well-adapted to work in customer service
• I am horrible at keeping in contact with good but distant friends (though, I think I already knew this)
• I have a very skewed perception of how strangers, coworkers, friends, and family view me
• The Cubs are awesome and the Sox suck ... I guess
• The thought of going back to school doesn't utterly repulse me anymore
• I am capable of enduring
• Apple soda is delicious
• Possessions -- things, stuff, junk -- are a liability; one that I am happy to eschew when needs be
• I still really like programming, and I should find a way to get back into it
• CTA buses don't give change cards
• I still hate old people

In addition, there are some things that I have failed to learn:

• Employers do not care about The Way I Think Things Should Be Done™, no matter how efficient, cost-effective, or time-saving I believe it to be (or that it actually is)
• Why the only emotion I can fluently express is Anger
• What it is like to live by myself, on my own
• How to motivate myself to write again
• How to fix a motorcycle

Business Is a Trip

Here's a entry I wrote back in August but for some reason never posted

I went on my first business trip a couple weeks ago. It was nice. I got out of the office (Well, I got out of one and went to another.), I got to wear casual clothes, I got to move around a bit (We sorted through and moved two hundred-some boxes of files.), and I got to stay in an expensive (by my standards) hotel for a few nights. All in all, it wasn't a bad experience. So, I'm actually looking forward to the copious amounts business traveling I will be doing in the next few months. [Author's Note: Now, a few months later, I look forward to sleeping in my own bed for a few days in a row.]

This talk about my job reminds me that I haven't mentioned on this blog what it is exactly that I do (nor have I mentioned it in person to some of you). So, here's a little bit about my job:

I work at a the headquarters of a large law firm in downtown Kansas City, one of the biggest in KC, in fact. No, I'm not a lawyer. (If I could turn a B.A. in English into a five-year degree, think how long it would take me to get a law degree!) I work in the Records Department. My title is 'Records Analyst' which isn't a job description at all and means just about nothing.

What I 'analyze' is the firm's record management system (RMS, if you're hip to the lingo) -- the software we use to track records, the policies and procedures we've made to govern record use, creation, and disposition according to the law, and the staff that handles records daily.

Further than just analyzing the system, I also perform quality control. I help test and update the software we use to make sure it is doing what we want it to. I try to field questions from both Record and legal staff on how to properly handle records. I find and repair lost or inaccurate data.

In addition, I teach new staff what the Records Department does, how the RMS functions, and how to use the software. I am also supposed to be developing and rewriting the existing educational material, but, what with my other duties and traveling to the satellite offices, I've found very little time to work on that.

An odd caveat about my job, though, is that I work with one of my once-and-present roommates. It is strange riding to work, sharing a cubicle wall, having lunch, being in meetings, riding home, eating dinner, and watching movies, all with him. We spend more time with each other than any two humans should. But we've managed to not hate each other, yet. [Well, maybe just a little bit of hate.]

Overall, it's an interesting job. It keeps me busier that my previous job, and is much more thought-provoking than the job I had before that. Hopefully, I'll keep this job longer than current record of six months. [Well, it's been six months now, and I haven't quit.] I think it will be much easier, though. The duties I have are varied, from mundane data entry to helping identify and solve system-wide problems. There is always something to keep me occupied. [And there is always something to keep me annoyed.]

Drama!

There was apparently some hullabaloo about a recent post by new blogger-friend, Robb Olson. I was asked to weigh in on the topic, so I wrote this all-too-long response.

The Month That Wasn't There

September was eaten up by a too-long, nigh unproductive business trip, procrastination, and good old friends' weddings (not that I'm complaining about that last one). I started on several posts and I even wrote a new part of Superhero, but I never got around to publishing any of it.

That's sad for September, but good for October, I guess. I was told recently that I don't post frequently or consistently enough, so I'm going to try to post at least a few times a week next month. Also, I'm going to try to continue my serial story, but I think I'm going to finish writing all of the few remaining parts before I start publishing them, so I don't lose interest in writing it again.

Good things (or, more accurately, not-that-bad things) should be coming in October.

Slacker

Thursday came and went and I didn't even realize that I forgot to write a new addition to Superhero. As punishment for me being a slacker, I'll write three parts for you next week! Stay tuned.

English Spelling Reform

I recently read an article from Interesting Thing of the Day entitled English Spelling Reform: The difficult path to simpler spelling. I agree with all of the reasons fro a spelling reform, and think all the reasons against are fairly lame. Any dissenting opinions?

Serial Fiction Blog List

My brother (Pancake Wrangler), my friend (Luciano), and I have all been writing serialized pieces of fiction, using blogs as our medium. It seems blogs were made for this. The author writes a bit of a story. The readers read the bit of the story and have the opportunity to respond, via commenting, to every portion of that entire story. The author gets validation. The readers get to partake in the creative process. Every one wins!

You'd think that there'd be tons of serialized fiction blogs out there, right? But after several searches, I haven't found much. What most searches for "fiction blogs" reveal are blogs written by fictional people. They are fictional online diaries. This is an interesting genre, I'm sure, but I can barely stand most blogs I come across written by real people. Why would I want to read a blog by a fake real person? Like "reality TV," fiction posing as reality fails to entice me; actually, it annoys me. I should care about something just because it purports itself to be true? Quit a-million-little-pieces-ing fiction and write something that will intrigue the reader without tricking them. (And, yes, I just verbed a book title.)

So, I said all that to say this: I am compiling a serial fiction blog list. It will contain links to blogs solely devoted to one or several works of fiction, broken up into sections that are or have been updated periodically, or links to a table of contents of such a work of fiction contained within a blog not singly devoted to serial fiction.

Divine Intermission

Luciano

Five Chapters

various authors

Healing Knowledge

df

Mortal Ghost

L. Lee Lowe

Superhero

Mr. McBastard

The Unbinding

Walter Kirn

untitled

Pancake Wrangler

Zen of Evil

Christopher Michael Nelson

Zen of Evil: Progeny

Christopher Michael Nelson

If you or anyone you know has a blog that fits the guidelines above, email me or leave a comment, and I'll add it to the list.

The Gender Genie

The Gender Genie is a neat little party trick. It seems fairly accurate. Out of the sixteen parts of my serial story, Superhero, it guessed that thirteen were written by a male. The other three parts might have been judged incorrectly because the focus was on the story's female character, Miranda.

Check it out. See if it works for you.

• Tags
• writing
• gender

Waiting for Inspiration

If you haven't been reading Divine Intermission, you should start. It's a serial fiction, updated twice a week, about an eternally (quite literally) depressed man named Carl and how he fits into the universe. Luciano's Douglas-Adams-meets-Chuck-Palahniuk literary style is both disgusting and humorous. And just the hope of finding out what the hell is wrong with Carl keeps me coming back for more. I highly recommend keeping an eye on this story.

I, too have been writing a serial fiction, Superhero. Though, instead of updating regularly, I have been pretensiously "waiting for inspiration" to write each new part. That is why it has taken me over a year and a half to write as many parts as Luciano has written in a month.

If I ever want to realize my dream of being a professional fictioner, I think it will take more than random inspiration. I think I need to learn to write consistently and more often. So, I am putting forth this public challenge to myself, in hopes that my readership (all two of you) will hold me accountable. I am going to update my serial fiction every Thursday until it is finished. I hope that if I don't stay true to this promise, that I will receive at least a few pestering emails. Will you help me?

• Tags
• writing
• serial
• fiction

Windy

I got some stuff published in Windfall, Truman's literary journal. It's not what I would have picked as the best of what I submitted, but I guess I should feel proud that someone thought it worth publishing.