Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Adventures in Craigslisting, Introduction

a typical Craigslist user

I've been attempting to sell some things on Craigslist recently, due to my impending move out of the state. The experience has been, if not lucrative, at least educational.

This simple act of trying to sell some goods has been vastly different from anything I could have ever imagined. You know in that movie Total Recall when Arnold goes to Mars, and living in the bottom part of the city are all these freaks and mutants, and there's the stripper with three boobs and the guy who has a crazy-talking, gross midget/baby poking out of his stomach? It's been kind of like that.

Craigslist is a great place. You can post your resume and look for jobs. You can buy furniture and electronics and sell your useless junk. You can even find a date. All of this is available, free, to anyone with a computer and an internet connection. The only downside is that the same people that you read about in newspapers because they kill themselves in stupid ways, the same people that necessitate instructions on individually wrapped cheese slices, the same people that Jay Leno interviews on the street who can't name the president -- yeah, those people -- they're on Craigslist, too. And not just some of them, apparently, all of them.

By posting an ad on Craigslist, you are essentially displaying a sign to the world that says, "Yes, I'll talk to you, crazy idiot people!" They come out of the woodwork, clamoring to say whatever stupid thing they have to say and asking whatever inane question their limited intellect can come up with. Half the time I don't even think they want whatever it is you're selling; I think they just have a quota of people to annoy and you put up a big, red target on yourself.

So, selling my junk on Craigslist has been more than just an experience; it has been a test. A test of my faith in humanity. That faith is failing. And I'm pretty sure humanity is doomed.

In several posts to follow I am going to share some of the more interesting inquiries I have gotten from average Craigslist users and my prickish replies along with some completely biased commentary. I do hope you'll enjoy.

  1. Difficult Questions
  2. The Jealous Boyfriend
  3. The Low-Baller
  4. What?
  5. The Sob Story
  6. Captain Obvious
  7. Hard Bargains

1 comment:

  1. you have no idea how much i'm looking forward to what follows. pour out your scorn like that stinky glass of milk you left half full on the nightstand by accident.


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