Tuesday, November 23, 2010


I had my first sparring match today, just one round. The coach kept telling me to loosen up and move around, but every time I did, I got hit. I only landed one or two decent hits. I've obviously got a long way to go. My partner said I did alright, though, for my first time.

Also, one of the big guys -- a real (well, amateur, at least) fighter -- lost his dinner after a well-placed kick. Now I don't feel so bad about my similar episode a month ago.

Out of the people that show up for the Muay Thai class regularly, I'm the smallest, weakest, and least experienced. This doesn't really bother me so much because this has been the case for every sport I've played, gym class I've been in, or test of athleticism I've participated in. I think the regulars know that I try to keep up as best I can.

The thing that does get to me, though, is that I don't seem to be picking it up very quickly. I mean, I didn't expect to waltz into class and be a Thai boxing virtuoso, but I had hoped that I might have some aptitude for kicking people in the face. But I guess that's what practice is for. Like the coach told me after class a couple weeks ago, in his Desi Arnaz accent, "If everyone was good the first time, we would have too many champions."

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

No Friends

Thanks for reminding me, iPod.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Junk-Food-Flavored Health Food

As I sit here eating my cheeseburger-flavored Doritos, I wonder, how is it that we can make one junk food taste exactly like another, but we can't make celery taste like bacon?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Don't Touch My Stash ... Mustache

The sideburns and goatee are short now, but I didn't touch the mustache. The cool thing is that it's starting to curl at the ends. So, I've decided to keep it for a little while longer and see what a handlebar mustache looks like!

The roommates want me to buy some mustache wax. Do they even still sell mustache wax?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Shaving in Increments

So, it seems the one thing people agreed upon was that the throat beard had to go. It was actually easier said than done; shaving under and around what I wanted to leave in place took some skill and patience. But after almost an hour of scraping at my skin, this is what I'm left with.

It's hard to tell in the pictures, but the sideburns are really long and stick straight out. I'm not sure how much I like them. I do like, though, that everything (the 'stache, the goatee, the chops) is angular and narrows down to a point. I think it makes me look almost sinister. (Insert evil laugh.)

While I'm planning on continuing to get rid of more of this facial shag, I think I might keep this configuration for a while, at least for a few days.

What do you think? Any opinions? Questions? Comments? Concerns?

Monday, April 26, 2010

The Hobo Look is So Last Season

Spring is here, and I fear my abundance of facial hair may be too hot for the impending warm summer weather. But I don't think I'm ready to go clean-shaven just yet. So, I'm asking the intarwebs for help choosing my next facial hair configuration.

I've already had some good suggestions, but I want to have a wide range of options and a diverse group of people to blame for my poor grooming decisions. So far, it's been suggested that I:

Do you have any other suggestions?

Saturday, January 23, 2010

There Is No STFU in Team

I first noticed a reference to 'Team Edward' a year or so ago. I learned it had something to do with the Twilight series but didn't catch much more because the voice of the person explaining it to me was drowned out by the alarm going off on my I-Don't-Give-A-Shit-O-Meter. What I did hear, though, was that in these books Team Emo Kid is versus Team Wolf Man. I don't know what that means. Perhaps they're baseball teams, or maybe they're sled dog teams. Like I said, I don't care. Those Twitards can do whatever they want, as long as they leave me alone. I thought, at the time, that I had just learned Yet Another Useless Bit of Trivia&trade.

But then I saw it again recently. This time it was in reference to the Leno slash O'Brien Tonight Show debacle. Team Jay versus Team Conan (or Team Coco, affectionately) were the supporters of their respective favorite late night hosts. At first I wondered what the connection between Twilight and the Tonight Show was. I mean, the Tonight Show airs almost exactly equidistant from either period of twilight.

Then I saw it yesterday in a blog post about Fox News: Team Sarah (Palin) versus Team Glenn (Beck), the two talk show darlings of that network. Letting alone my confusion over why the viewers of these two pundits would be opposed, I was struck again that something so totally disparate would be alluded to in terms of Twilight.

And then it dawned (get it?) on me: People are trying to make this a thing.

So, I'm here to nip this in the bud. We're not doing that, sorry. We're not going to apply Team Whatever and Team Other Thing to all of our public discourse. We're not going to refer to celebrity disputes as Team Brad vs Team Angelina. We're not going to call the 2012 election Team Obama vs Team Huckabee. We're not going to refer to the war in Afghanistan as Team America vs Team Al Queda. It's asinine, it's reductionist, and we're not making this a thing, okay?

Some things you can say instead of "I'm on Team X" include:

  • "I think X is completely relatable"
  • "I support X"
  • "I'm on X's side of the debate"
  • "I thing X is the best of all options"
  • or simply "X!"

I fear that I might be too late, though. This Team phenomenon has probably completely invaded popular culture already and I just haven't noticed until now. In which case, I would just like to say, I, for one, welcome our new Team Overlord.

Circa Now