Sunday, March 16, 2003

Treatise on the Mosh Pit

Over the weekend, I went to a rock concert at the Beaumont Club in Kansas City. TrustCO. played, as well as Pacifier and Fingertight. It was a pretty good show, but the pit was horrible. I've been to quite a few concerts at many different venues and have seen many different kinds of mosh pits. I've seen good pits and bad pits. In order to make every pit a "good pit" I think there are some things that every mosher should know and understand before entering a pit.

What makes a pit good: Many people jumping around and pushing off each other with no malicious intent towards anyone else in the pit.

What makes a pit bad: Many people shoving and punching and ramming each other with intent to hurt someone else.

People that make a pit bad:
Meatheads: If your biceps are bigger than your head, you can bench-press more than a quarter of a ton, and have more testosterone than common sense, you are a meathead. The pit is not a game of King of the Hill. The object is not to push everyone out of the pit and be the only one in the center. In fact, the only object of a mosh pit is to stay on your feet and keep moving.
Youngins: Not to put an age limit on it, but if you haven't hit puberty yet, you are a youngin'. Nobody wants to knock you down and crack your skull, but if you enter the pit, they will.
Angry Pricks: If you have problems with aggression and exhibit homicidal tendencies, you are an angry prick. The pit is a good place to release tension by expending a lot of energy. The pit is not a good place to release aggression by punching and wrestling people. If you throw a punch with the intent of connecting with someone's body and hurting them, you are doing something wrong. And don't get angry when someone in the pit hits you. Most likely it was and accident, and if you didn't want to get hit, you should have stayed out of the pit.
Girlfriends: I think this group is self-explanatory. But this is not to say that no girl should go into the pit -- there are some pretty tough broads out there -- but no girl should be drug into a pit without her consent. If you're pulling your girlfriend into a pit, first ask her whether or not she minds being stepped on, slammed in the back, and elbowed in the head, because these will most likely happen. Don't get angry when they do (see Angry Pricks).

Things to consider before entering a pit:

  • If you carry anything into the pit, you will most likely lose it.
  • If your glasses come of or if you lose your contacts, you will never see them again.
  • Collars and bracelets with spiked studs in them can and will hurt you and everyone else in the pit.
  • Your shoes should be tied as tight as possible
  • Your clothes will be wet with sweat, water, spit, and possibly (but hopefully not) blood. Dress accordingly.
  • You're only goal should be to have fun in the pit.

Things to consider while in a pit:

  • No one in the pit means to intentionally hurt you; retaliation isn't necessary.
  • Tying your shoes even between songs can be dangerous.
  • If you feel faint, exhausted, tired, too squished, or weak, get out of the pit as quickly as possible. If you can't move by yourself, the people around you will be more than willing to help you. Nothing is worse than a show stopping to evacuate an unconscious fan.

Mosh pit etiquette:

  • If someone falls down, help them up.
  • If you find a shoe or any other article of clothing, hold it in the air.
  • If someone is injured, help block them from further injury.
  • If someone on the edge of the pit does not want to go in, do not push them.

Overall, everyone should be enjoying themselves in a mosh pit. If you have any other agenda, you do not belong in the pit. This cannot be stated enough: The purpose of a pit is not to intentionally harm anyone else. Although mosh pits can be dangerous (we've all heard the horror stories), if everyone looks out for each other, everyone should have a good time beating the crap out of each other. By the end of the concert you should walk away with a smile on your face (and maybe a bruise or two).

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