Monday, November 03, 2008

Don't Take the Rice So Literally

This story comes straight from the What The Fuck files: A man came into the store yesterday and approached the service counter. He had the shifting eyes and huffiness of a person that cannot believe they must suffer the great indignity of making a formal complaint. I waited with annoyed anticipation to discover what inexcusable tragedy had no doubt befallen this poor soul. "What can I do for you?"

He set a box of instant rice on the counter and flicked a receipt at me. "I want a refund for this."

I grabbed a pen and began to fill the Returned Merchandise form.

Date: 11/2/08
Item: Minute Rice
Reason for Return:

"And what's the reason you want to return this?" I asked with faux interest.

"It doesn't cook in a minute." I stopped writing and hoped, just hoped, that he was joking. I looked up and saw on his face that he was not joking in the slightest. I sighed the deepest sigh and trudged forth through the mire of mind-numbing ignorance.

The story ends with him walking away in a huff, leaving his half-used box of Minute Rice behind because it was "worthless." I can't help but wonder how many cups of rice he could have cooked in the time it took him to drive to the store, make an utter ass out of himself, refuse to file a complaint with the manufacturer, waste my time, and then drive back home.


  1. Happytimeharry11/06/2008 12:46 PM

    I liked this one. Reminds me of my early days selling cell phones. I always got a kick out of the customers who would come to return their phone because, "There's no dialtone."

  2. did you listen to the semi-related song i sent you?

  3. Yeah...but look at the simplicity of this guy's life...he lives in simple ignorance.

  4. PW, yes, but I really didn't like it.

    LB, his life maybe be simple, but he and his ilk make my life more complicated.

  5. Sadly I must tell you, that the world is not all about you. Unfortunately, dealing with people effectively is our greatest challenge while we're on this planet.

  6. The world is not all about me, but this blog is. If you're looking for a happy demeanor and a positive outlook on life, sadly I must tell you that you've come to the wrong place (though the name at the top of the page should have tipped you off).


Circa Now