Sunday, November 09, 2008

Army Recruitment Video

Why is it that Army recruitment commercials only depict black, urban families or white, rural families? There's never a white, suburban kid trying to convince his parents to let him go into the Army, which you'd think would be the largest untapped market.

I think such a video could go something like this:

Middle-class, white family standing in the driveway.

KID: Thanks, Mom and Dad! This Scion xB is the perfect graduation present. But you know what I really want? To join the Army!

FATHER: I don't know, son. Your mother and I were all ready to pay for your college education in full; we just don't know about you earning money for college for yourself.

MOTHER: Well now, Father, let's just listen to our son for a minute. After all, the Johnsons next door let their son join the Army. Maybe we ought to think about this.

KID: Yeah, Dad. Plus, I've done a lot of research and found that I might get woefully inadequate compensation and horrible health care benefits, and I'll get to be a pawn for large corporate interests ... just like you!

MOTHER: He might even learn such things as Respect and Honor; things us parents or teevee can't possibly teach a child.

KID: Well, that is, if I don't die first.

They all laugh.

FATHER: Well, OK. I'm convinced.

VOICE OVER: If your son or daughter asks about the Army, listen.


  1. Sigh...perhaps you should look for citizenship elsewhere...

  2. oh. oh. oh. NOW who's being inflexible? is that a genuine "if you don't like it you can leave" attitude? a great thing about America is that we can be critical of the way the place is run without fear of punishment, and often with hope that someone will fix the issue we complain about. to call military recruiting practices on the carpet for being shameless and desperate is not unpatriotic or unamerican, it's saying this is disingenuous and it doesn't work for our society.

    but what would i know? i'm just a punk kid "Nazi" who wants failing systems to change for the betterment of the country. shame on me.

  3. Anonymous sigher, I like my citizenship. Perhaps YOU should get the hell out of MY country.

  4. I was here first you bratty kid ! You get out!

  5. Actually, I think taking a sabbatical in another country and immersing in its culture would help everyone gain perspective on their own culture.

  6. I like how your argument has devolved into "You kids get off my lawn!"

    And again, feel free to leave this country. I like it here.

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. < whine >
    *sniff sniff*
    but i haven't actually seen Paris yet!
    < /whine >

  9. It wasn't an argument...I was poking fun at your statement for me to leave your laugh damn-it or at least chuckle...I hear it's good for you.

  10. Say, Zach, how about penning an editorial on all the good things Hitler's regimen did or even contemporary nazis. The fairness act dictates that for every negative we hear about something there must be a positive given.

  11. You got it. But my name is Mr. McBastard.


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