Sunday, March 30, 2008

The Intarwebtubes Make You Stupid

Internetter 1: "Here is something interesting I found or perhaps a unique perspective on an observation."

Internetter 2: "That thing also interests me, and here is a comment about how I agree or disagree with your statement."

Internetter 3: "I think one or maybe both of you are wrong, and I can't possibly conceive of why your opinions differ from mine."

Internetter 1: "Instead of taking the time to address the points of either of your arguments, I will dissect your grammar and nitpick your choice of words, thus rendering your opinions invalid."

Internetter 2: "I will also avoid the original topic and will speculate on your sexuality, relationship with your parents, and your masturbatory habits."

Internetter 3: "I HAVE BEGUN TYPING IN ALL CAPS AND USING AN INORDINATE AMOUNT OF PUNCTUATION!!!! I WILL MAKE THREATS OF VIOLENCE THAT I COULD NEVER ACTUALLY CARRY OUT TO ANYONE WHO DOESN'T VIEW THE WORLD EXACTLY AS I DO!!!11!!!"

Internetter 1: "Arguing on the internet is beneath me, and I refuse to take part in these childish ramblings, except to say that you are both dickweeds, I hate you, and fuck off."

Internetter 2: "Your avoidance of the issue at hand has frustrated me to the point of trying to find a parallel between what you have said and what Hitler and the Nazis might have believed. If you don't find this relevant, then you can bite my ass."

Internetter 3: "I FUCKED YOUR MOM!"

3 comments:

  1. hahaha. that's awesome. Interneter 4: Did you know that Eisley is playing in Lawrence the 7th? I just thought I would ask because I'm too lazy to email and like to ignore completely what is going on.
    --Mags

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  2. wow and here i thought i would be able to give you hate mail. nice work, sir.

    interneter 5: here is what i think about the original issue, which is a basic rephrasing of one of the first few comments, showing that i clearly don't have the time or desire to read through the first few comments, despite posting a comment of my own for those who will read down this far.

    ReplyDelete

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