Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Just Asking

The following is an email chain that went out to everyone in my department last month. Supervisor was in charge of collecting money for some Adopt-A-Family charity that some people in the office wanted to give to. Employee is one of the donors.

From: [Supervisor}
Sent: Friday, November 16, 2007 11:47 AM
To: [All Records Staff]
Subject: Adopt -A-Family

I want to thank everyone who contributed 
to the Adopt-A-Family program. We collected 
$164.00 dollars. Thanks for such a 
fantastic effort!!!

From: [Supervisor]
Sent: Friday, November 16, 2007 11:50 AM
To: [All Records Staff]
Subject: FW: Adopt -A-Family

Correction . $170.00. - [Supervisor]

From: [Employee]
Sent: Friday, November 16, 2007 1:12 PM
To: [Supervisor]
Cc: [All Records Staff]
Subject: RE: Adopt -A-Family

Will everyone that gave be recognized some 
way?  Just asking.

Is it just me, or is this bitch a huge douche-lick?

Perhaps this is sort of a "you had to be there" or "you have to know the bitch" situation, but I think if you carefully examine some of the subtler points of Employee's response, you'll be able to see just how douchey she really is:

  1. In a supreme act of humility and genuine charity, Employee asks if she will be rewarded (beyond her bloated self-righteousness, that is) for her philanthropy.
  2. Not only does Employee reply to Supervisor to ask for recognition, but she copies all of her co-workers. In the case that she won't be recognized for selflessly giving to the less fortunate, she'll be recognized for recognizing those that did.
  3. Employee "just asks" if the donors will be recognized, and does not at all imply that they should or deserve to be heralded and praised for their generous contributions.
  4. In the true spirit of giving, Employee asks for something in return ... for "everyone who gave," of course. She's looking out for everyone else's best interests.

Moral of the story: Give because you feel like giving, not because you want to get a pat on the head.


  1. Ah...to live is to learn that a 'Sue Bachman', a true it's all about me ist, will inevitabley cross your path at least once in this short life. I think these folks who set off our red flags serve as markers by which we can better clarify ourselves.

  2. Wow,

    Yeah, my reaction is just... wow. I guess she got what she wants... now people know she contributed.

  3. this is one of many reasons why i want to be a serial killer when i grow up

  4. That lady should be singled out at work and given a party to acknowledge her charitable donation. Only through humiliation will she realize the errors of her ways. I am sure the tank-ass would love a cake. It would be worth the ten dollars to completely devastate this sad individual.


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