Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Little-Known Facts about Cloning

In addition to these "facts" about cloning, here are some more truths about cloning:

  1. Clones retain the memory and thoughts of the original, lacking only the original's conscience and sense of morality
  2. The only way to tell the clone from the original is that the clone will not have birthmarks or scars, and will, of course, have a menacing goatee
  3. Someone can clone you simply by stealing some of your hair, fingernail clippings, toothbrush, discarded q-tips, fingerprints, stool samples, library card, or even by taking a picture of you
  4. Clone flatulence smells of sulfur
  5. In 2005, 17 people died from cloning or of clone-related causes in the U.S.
  6. Clones have no souls and can't go to Heaven (or Hell for that matter!)
  7. Michael Jackson never underwent plastic surgery; he is actually a 5th generation clone
  8. Clones hate oatmeal
  9. If a clone mates with another clone or (God forbid) an original, its offspring will be sterile
  10. All clones are lactose intolerant
  11. Militant Islamic extremists invented cloning in the early '90s to destroy America
  12. Don't feed clones after midnight
Please, don't believe everything you read.


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