Freshman Week

Today marks the end of a week of drunkenness and debauchery known as Freshman Week. It serves as a welcome to all the incoming freshmen to get them acquainted with college, but also gives the upperclassmen a chance to have one final Hoorah before classes resume.

And what a fucking loud Hoorah this year was. So, here's the tallies for the week:

• Nights drunk: 7
• Hang-overs: 3 (surprisingly few)
• Rum & Cokes: approx. 10 (lost count)
• Beers consumed: innumerable
• Beers chugged: approx. 10 (damn drinking games)
• Old friends seen: 6
• New friends made: everybody's my friend when I'm intoxicated
• Ladies loved: 1
• Ladies lost: see "Beers consumed"
• Times confused as a freshman: 3
• Times confused as the twin brother of Li'l John (alumnus of my fraternity): 7
• Lessons learned: 0
• Fun had: unlimited