I Know I've Said This Before

Pat Freestone cracks my shit up!

November 6, 2003

As a highly advanced race, the Qzzv pride themselves on their understanding of all eighteen dimensions of the universe. They were very surprised to find that our civilization has attempted to create mathematical order out of complex concepts like time, space and gravity. I explained to them, as best I could, Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and the more recent String Theory. They just sort of stared at me, and telepathically suggested that we, as Earthlings, master the more basic concepts like Not Killing Each Other and Not Using the Ocean as a Fucking Toilet before we get to the complicated stuff like How Heavy the Sun Is.

In any case, the Qzzv took pity on me, and explained to me in very simple terms their mathematical formula that solves and explains everything. It is basically this:

a = b

What it comes down to, when you factor it down from the thousands and thousands of pages of calculations from which it is derived, is what we would call:

Same shit, different day.

There you go.

Pat Freestone