Can't a Guy Buy Beer in Peace?
Guess what short people with "baby faces" hear on at least a weekly basis, usually when purchasing legal, regulated substances?
Do you think it is "I've looked at your government-issued ID and I believe that you are the age you claim." Nope.
Do you think it's "I appreciate that you look young; I wish I looked young as well." Guess again.
Do you think it might be "I choose not to make a comment on your youthful appearance and/or demeanor." Way off!
It's actually "Are you sure you're old enough to buy [regulated substance]? You look like you're [insultingly low age]!"
Awesome! Now I hate you!
Hardly a week goes by that I don't have to practically apologize for looking young or explain that many people make the same mistake of thinking I'm younger than I actually am. I don't mind the actual question, though, so much as the absolute incredulity that comes along with it. If you're seriously in doubt of my age, don't sell me the product. If not, just shut the fuck up about it.
Other related things that annoy me:
- Bringing a friend/coworker over to gawk at the 15-year-old-looking freakshow (As if being mocked by one person isn't enough.)
- Triple- or quadruple-checking my ID after a waitress and a bartender (and possibly a bouncer) have sufficiently perused it (You're a bar manager, not the director of Homeland Security.)
- Telling me that you have a relative or friend that also looks young (Neat! Ask them how much I don't like you right now.)
- Ask me what my license number or my birth date is (I look even younger on my ID than I do in person. Why would I have a fake ID with a picture of someone even younger than I am?)
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